Have you ever felt like you just didn't get the "feel good" part of faith? You know, you hear the TV preachers preaching away about how your life can be just so much better if you have a little more faith. All your troubles will go away and you will be the best you that you have ever been if you believe a little harder. You just need to change your way of thinking and life will totally turn around for you. Well, I guess that is not what I have seen in my walk of faith. Sometimes I wonder if I am just doing it all wrong.....
Now before you go thinking I am a little mixed up, let me explain. I do find great strength and peace in knowing and loving my Savior. I have also found great joy in sharing my faith and watching others come to Him and begin their walk of faith. However, it has been far from a bed of roses for many of them as well as for myself. I even think of Paul and his travels while preaching and teaching. He did not always find people to be warm or welcoming. I believe he spent plenty of time running for his life, recovering from being stoned and spending time in jail. Life was not easy because he had faith. Life really became much more difficult in many ways.
The point I guess I am getting to is that when I see or hear people talking about how "fun" and "exciting" having faith is, I wonder what is going on. Again, don't get me wrong....I am excited and happy, but it is not all that being a follower of Christ is about. You can't just base your faith on if you "feel" good about what is going on. Faith has to be strong and steady even when the world if falling apart around you. Faith that is strong has usually suffered through many trials that have helped bring the person to a closer walk and deeper reliance on God. Faith just doesn't "feel" good and make you a super Christian. More than once I have seen "faithful" people fall away when things quit being fun. I have seen involvement in activities drop when people are not feeling like it is exciting to them any longer. Sometimes, faith just doesn't feel good. Sometimes it is hard work. Sometimes, it stretches you beyond your limits and takes you to a place where only God can see you through.
I wish being a Christian meant feel good parties all the time. How nice would that be! No suffering, no crying, no heartache, no loss.....sounds like Heaven to me. However while we live here on this earth that is fallen and sinful, we will not always live in peaceful celebration. I often think of Job. He had a good life. He had happiness. He really had it "all", by the world's standards. Then, it was all taken away. All of it. The parties ended and in their places funerals and mourning took over. Fortunes were loss. Friends disappeared. Children died. Health failed. And then even those closest to him believed he had wronged God and must deserve what he was getting. They even told him to go ahead and "curse God and die." Job had faith. He held on. He wasn't feeling all that good and he sure wasn't celebrating, but he was trusting that God would bring him through the dark days and in to light again. God did......
I watch friends who feel close to God only when things are going right. They only come to church when they feel "uplifted" and when things are clicking along without any controversy. They are cheering on the works and ready for the next big event to celebrate together. But what happens to them when things are not so rosey. When lessons are taught that challenge us and convict us, where do they go? Do they stick with it or walk away to find somewhere else to "feel" good? Where are they when work needs to be done....not just playing, but work?
I wish I could say I had this all figured out. I wish I could say I felt good all the time with my faith. But I can't. I feel a lot. I feel things probably more than others at times. Some people call it a gift, but sometimes I don't feel so gifted. My sensors are often on high and when I see people suffering, I tend to empathise too much with them. Some call it a gift of mercy. I call it being a cry baby. Seriously, I have trouble feeling happy-go-lucky when others around me are struggling. My faith is still strong, but I often don't walk around feeling happy or carefree. I don't stay "peppy" and "joyful" all the time but that does not mean I don't have faith. It just means I am feeling something different.
Feel good faith....yes, there is much to feel good about and to find joy in as we walk this road. But for me, true faith is seen in those who survive the hard times and continue trusting no matter what comes. Believing God to be God and to hold us in His hand even when everything around us tells us life is falling apart is faith to me. It is easy to be faithful in the good times, but when life is upside down, true faith is seen.
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