Quilt Pieces....

My grandmother has a stack of quilt pieces put back for when she feels like piecing another quilt together. I have 2 of those quilts already, made from hours of my grandmother piecing together memories of our lives. My blue quilt, as we call it, is complied of precious memories and pieces. The center 3 pieces come from my great grandmother Tarpley. They were scraps from some apron or dress she had. The next several rows are from matching dresses that mom and I wore when I was a baby. The other rows are from various other scraps my grandmother found or saved from some piece of material, mostly from my life and the dresses she made for me. It is a patchwork of memories and love.

The labor and time put in to making my quilt was great. I don't think I ever realized how much it must have cost my grandmother, not financially, but in energy. It is a precious gift. One I did not deserve or even appreciate until recently. My quilt has been well worn. We have snuggled with it during those cold winters and used it to lay our babies on. It has been taken on various camping trips because it would keep us warmer than the average blanket. It is easy to say it has been with us through many moments of our lives. I do wish I had cared for it better. I should have protected it more, since now it shows the wear and tear of time and love.

I started thinking last night as I looked around the room during the memorial service for a dear Christian man, how much the people who have touched my life are like those precious squares that make up my quilt. The memories that I share with the people who have touched my life leave me with that warm feeling, much like my quilt. Each person is a precious piece, placed specifically in my life at the right time and in the right place. Each person has left a piece of them self in the creation of the person I have become. Each person is a part of me, irreplaceable and loved.

I looked at the pieces of my life as I stood there remembering our pasts. Past bible hours. Past JOY buses. Past slumber parties and ski trips. Past piano lessons, past cookouts and campouts. Many memories flooded my mind, filling me with want for those days with all our family together. The good memories and the bad. There were hugs and tears. We caught up on life and there were no imaginary boundaries between us. No miles, or beliefs, no hurts to keep us apart. We were all together again remembering the pieces of our lives and the quilt they had made. How much like heaven this must have been! When we all are together again. How happy and warm it will be! Tears of joy and happiness and no more sorrow and loss. When we can all be together again and sing and worship the King of Kings and Lord of Lords as one voice and one body.

I found myself longing for those days. I started feeling sadness over those relationships that are so far from me now. I even began doubting and questioning the reasons for all the changes that have happened. Then, as I started feeling this loss and sadness, I realized that as precious as those relationships are to my life, what God needs from me is relationship with HIM first. Those people and moments may be past, but my God is still the same. He is still here, calling me in to a closer walk and relationship with Him. That is what is the center piece to my quilt. These past memories and people are not lost because we are quilted together with the center piece, God our Father.

My quilt is full of memories from my past. I can only imagine what lies ahead and what pieces will be added to my memory quilt. I may long for the old and remember with love the days of my youth, but as I saw in a room filled with old and new friends, God has many more beautiful pieces to add. Each piece, each memory, each person that is added to my life, I want to handle with care and patience. I want to cherish the time allowed to us. I know that I need to handle this quilt with care and never let it become tattered and worn. This is a most precious quilt, given to me by my Father, to cover me with His love and warmth.

Standing on the Edge....

I got the most amazing email the other day. It was one of those typical forwards but the title caught my attention. "I wouldn't go swimming there! Would you?" I expected to see sharks or some other dangerous creature swimming around with less than logical people. However the pictures were breath taking. They were of these massive falls, much like Niagara, that are part of Lake Victoria, which I believe is in Africa, but I would have to check my geography. Anyhow, the view was spectacular, but the main point of the email was this, there are shallow pools of water that go right up to the edge. The very edge of the falls. There are rock shelves that hang out over the drop of hundreds of feet of water to the lake below. But in these shallow pools are people. Yes, people. Moms and dads holding their tiny babies. Children splashing and swimming around. One man stood precariously on the rock shelf that jutted out over the falls, leaning forward to take a picture of what laid below. The water was cool, calm, clear, and the most beautiful blue I have ever seen. The spray of the falls just behind the pool gave way to a light rainbow in the mist of water. It was a scene I won't soon forget....thus this blog.

I have often gone back to the images of the falls. Dangerous and powerful, churning and pounding beneath the calm scene above. Did those people know what they were doing? Did they know how close to death they stood? Didn't they see what I saw....beauty, power, and danger? How did they stand or swim so close to the edge of life and not fear the depths below?

I have rolled the thoughts of this scene over and over in my mind. Then the other day, I sat listening to a discussion of how to deal with a church member that had stepped too close to the edge of adultery. As we discussed how to restore gently this person to God, another dear person explained how in her life it had almost happened to her. She recounted without details how one day she found herself near the edge, ready to either step off the ledge or to dive back in to the calmness of the pool. It had been too close to the edge for her. She had had to make a decision....a decision to LIVE according to God's law or to step off the ledge and fall for the lies of the evil one.

I know this place. I've seen it several times. That edge of right or wrong, life or death, hanging on or giving up. How I thank God I have been pulled back, and rescued from my own curiosity and pride when the beauty of the falls have captured my imagination and made me feel invincible to the dangers below.

Those ledges can be anything in our lives that we are tempted by. Is it that drink you want to take, but you know will lead to an uncontrollable need for another? Or it could be that extra pill you take to help you sleep, when you don't want to face the trials of the day. Maybe it is the extra helping of those awesome potatoes that you know will lead to overeating again. Or maybe that relationship that you know you are too dependent on. The one that if you allowed yourself to give in or step a bit forward, you would be lost in it forever. It could be spending more than you make, living above your means. Whatever the addiction, whatever the temptation, is it really worth your life? Standing on the edge is a risky place. One step in either direction can change your life forever. If you are walking on the edge, not choosing the danger of the fall or the safety of the pool, but just walking along the rocky edge, how long do you think you can live? The edge is slippery. The winds are strong, and your footing is not firm. How long before you fall because the beauty and the draw of power take you over?

I don't know if you get this image like I do. So many of us are deceived in to believing we can manage standing so close to the edge. We can swim and play and relax and do like everyone else without loosing our lives. We can enjoy the pool and look over the edge and not be affected by what lies below. The truth is, we can't be safe that close to danger. Danger is lurking and the evil one is just waiting to push you over. As with the man standing out, far out, on the ledge just to get a better look of what was below, all it would have taken for his life to be over is one strong rush of water over the ledge, or one strong gust of wind, just one mis-step and life would be over as he knew it. Are you willing to risk it all for just an ounce of power or a taste of beauty, to swim in the pool that hides the danger just below? I'm not.

Flee from evil, cling to what is right! I stood on this ledge many years ago. A time when I had a choice to make. Step forward and leap off into a different life other than the one that included my husband and children, or turn back, walk, no run, the other direction and embrace the life I had. I don't think we get to the edge of such places quickly. Those small steps in the wrong direction that seem harmless and even beautiful, eventually come to a place of no return. It is a daily walk....a daily struggle to stay on the path that leads to life and not destruction.

If you are near the edge, step back and look around at where you are. Don't be deceived. It is not too late until you decide to take that final step.......