Yesterday was my daughter's one month anniversary! It has been a month since the wedding already. As hard as starting back to school was right after the wedding, it sure has kept my mind busy so that I have not had time to miss my baby girl too much. They really are doing well. They seem so happy and Todd has even survived the first stomach virus with Ashton. She was so sick, and I wanted to go take care of her, but left him to do it. She says he did a good job, but I sent her dad up to their house with some good medicine for her. I just had to make sure she would make it through the night. I am STILL her mom!!!
School has been a wild ride! My schedule is so busy that I have lost 10 pounds since school started. I am really excited about that, but my body is so tired. I should be in bed now, but I am supervising the completion of Chelsea's science project. It is due Friday, and we just started it TODAY! I think my girls and I work best under pressure. I sure wish we would learn to do a little bit a time though and not stress ourselves out with last minute projects! I have really had a hard time adjusting to life back at work. I feel so overwhelmed at times. I have 4 classes and they are about 80 minutes each. We have so much to do in that short amount of time. I never sit down and I am failing as a mom because I can not keep up with my baby's homework because my mind is so overloaded. I really need to get a grip!
Tara's senior year is off and running. She is in to football season. She is still working as an athletic trainer and seems to like it. I think she is still thinking about doing physical therapy too. We really need to get her college applications done soon. A year from now she will be gone too. I don't know how we will do it without her. She even came in tonight and got right to work helping Chelsea finish her project.
Chelsea is at my school this year. She is in my third class. Her class if filled with many of her friends that she has had since she was a baby at the school daycare. Many of them know me as Chelsea's mom and not Mrs. Farmer. I have to be pretty tough to keep them from spinning out of control. Chelsea and I are doing pretty good. I try not to call on her more than others. I also try to not be harder on her than the others. It is difficult. When I notice a paper that has not been done the way I asked and start to take points off and then realize it was my own child that did it wrong, it makes the mom in me come out. Just imagine if you could sit in your child's class and see them NOT pay attention or do something that the teacher had told them not to do. Wouldn't you want to call them on it? I do, but that is the mom in me so the teacher has to take over and treat her just like everyone else. It is not easy. She is adjusting pretty well to our school. She has 4 main subjects and teachers which means she changes classes much like you do in junior high. It is hard on 10 year olds. I spend the whole first 6 weeks training and retraining. I am looking forward to the 2nd 6 weeks so we can have a routine in place and a little less training to have to do.
My family outside my immediate family, is struggling. It seems that there is a never-ending list of things that are going on. I feel very helpless and useless. I don't really know how to help or whether to or not. Sometimes it is healthier for me to just not know what is going on so I don't dwell on it and worry so much. Other times, I wish I knew so I could at least be praying for my parents and the decisions they must make. Life is just hard, and sometimes I don't know if it will ever be easy for that part of my family to coexist.
There is some hope shining through lately. I feel we are being able to feel on more stable ground in the last few weeks at church. I am thankful for that. I am cautiously optimistic about where we are headed, but like Cory said tonight, "What kind of faith do I have?" Do I really believe that God WILL do what He says He can do or am I a "I'll believe it when I see it" kind of person? I am choosing to BELIEVE it NOW. If I have the faith of a mustard seed, anything is possible. If our church family had the faith of a mustard seed, imagine what we could do for the kingdom! This is a time of change, a time of healing, a time of renewal, and a time of worship. I for one am looking forward to regaining a time of worship and a closer relationship with my Lord.
Well, as I head to bed tonight, I am reminded of those around me that are facing the dangers of hurricane Ike. Tonight it looks like the storm will hit near Galveston and Houston. I know that will cause great trouble in those areas and many of my friends have family there. Please keep those in the path of this storm in your prayers.
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