18 years.....

The other day I was cleaning up around the house and my eyes settled on our collection of hair bows. We have a nice size collection. We have a bow for every color and style. There are the Disney character bows, the lace and satin bows, the silly/frilly bows and the ones that were worn in various weddings and special events. I even have this wonderful hanger for them all to clip on neatly. Organized by color and style with memories attached to each one. However, what caught my eye that day was the dust that has settled over this collection. It was yet another reminder that my baby girls are all growing up too fast.

Ash and Chels both loved to wear the bows. Tara, on the other hand, was not a "bow" girl. I remember one time when our little t-ball team was choosing their uniforms and some moms wanted to make pink and navy hair bows for the girls to wear in the games. When Tara heard the word hair bow, she wrinkled up her noses and said, "Hair bow! You don't wear hair bows in baseball! I want a cap!" That was my baby girl. Tough through and through and knew from the beginning what she wanted. Strong-willed child...that's my girl.

18 years ago tonight, I was about to give up on her ever getting here. I had been in labor for over 12 hours and that was after being induced because she was already two weeks late. I should have known what kind of stubborn streak she would have from the beginning. Today is the day I remember more than her actually birthday. Today was the day 18 years ago that changed my life. She was born 30 minutes in to the next day, but this day was the day I learned what laboring for love was all about.

Tomorrow we will celebrate 18 years with our baby girl. These have been the fastest 18 years of my life. When Tara became part of our life, she turned this newly wed couple with a baby in to a family with two children. She was born at a time in our lives that we had not yet figured out how we were going to live our lives. She brought a kind of settling in to our world, but at the same time, she brought more excitement than we were really ready for.

I can't remember how many trips to the hospital we have made with her. The picture of nurses...yes SEVERAL nurses trying to hold her down to start an IV in her little arm at the age of 3 and her fighting with every bit of energy she had to stop them, will never fade from my memory. Again, seeing her being surrounded by a staff of doctors and nurses trying to do a spinal tap on her when we learned she had meningitis and having to sign releases to allow them to administer the medications necessary to treat her still haunt my memories. MRI's, x-rays, crutches, asthma attacks, and most recently, long nights on the bathroom floor wiping her forehead and holding her hair are some of the few times she allowed her guard to be down. My baby has always been tough and strong and determined, but her heart has always been kind and merciful and loving. What a beautiful young woman she has become!

Tomorrow I will face the realization that she too will be leaving me soon. A few months from now we will celebrate her graduation and prepare to send her off to college. My baby girl, now a young woman, will be seen as an adult, able to make her own decisions and choose the path her life will take. She will meet new people, date boys I have never met, and eventually bring someone special home to meet us. I can't help but wonder if we have prepared her for what lies ahead. Have we loved her enough? Let her stumble and recover on her own enough? Shown her God's mercy and grace enough? Taught her His ways? Have we been the parents she needed?

My baby girl, 18 tomorrow. Where did the time go? Oh how I wish I could have a few of those moments back to cherish and hold on to. But tomorrow, we will celebrate the young woman she has become. My mountain climbing, deer hunting, truck driving, soccer playing, athletic training, stubborn, hard-headed, beautiful, kind, tender-hearted, spirited, and God fearing baby girl! What a JOY these 18 years have been......