Girl Drama!!!!!!!

I need to rant a little tonight. So, hang on....

I hate girl drama. Really really I do. Why can't girls just get along? Why do they have to pick each other apart from top to bottom to make themselves feel better? Is it low self esteem or jealousy that drives someone to turn on their best friend and call them names you wouldn't even call your worse enemy? What is it?????

I hate watching my daughters fight through this phase in life. I'm sure there is still of form of this throughout our lives, but those high school years simply are the worst. I remember going through these same feelings and situations during my "Wonder Years" of high school. They stunk. You can't be friends with anyone without someone else getting angry. You can't be friends with a guy who might have a girlfriend because then you are called all kinds of unkind names. Just simply being a friend with a guy makes you a flirt and if your best friend thinks that you are acting the least bit different or getting the slightest bit of more attention from someone, you then become their target.

As a mom I want to just frankly slap some of the girls. It makes me crazy. I KNOW my daughters are not perfect. I usually ask them the first second they start complaining about someone or something they think is unfair "What did you DO to cause this problem?" Most of the time we can find the root of the problem with that, but in some cases, and with some people, it really isn't their fault. Some people just seem to not be able to be happy unless they are living in the middle of a fight. I guess it is the fun of playing "victim" to someone else's supposed offense to them. I can just hear it...."She talked to my boyfriend. She was flirting. She didn't call me first and so now I'm mad at her. EWWW, look at what she is wearing. Who does she think she is?" And the comments go on and on, but when you criticize my daughter and call her a "hoochie" then there is a problem.....especially if you are suppose to be one of her best friends! UGH....this stuff is ridiculous!

Now, most times I just give T the talk about being the bigger person and turning the other cheek and forgiving 7 times 70, but I am finally to a point of enough is enough. I am the perfect example of a doormat that will lay there and take it until I feel beat down like a mat, but I don't want to see my girls never stand up for themselves. They just simply must. I want T to be DONE with this friendship. She can forgive her but I don't ever want her to be sucked in to this unhealthy relationship again. I am speaking as one who has finally escaped a very unhealthy friendship that was more like a verbally and emotionally abusive relationship than what a friendship ought to be. I am begging my child to walk away from this friendship and not look back. This may not seem very Christian of me or very loving and forgiving, but I am so tired of seeing her hurt. No one should feel that they can beat down another person just to simply make themselves feel better. How sad for the girl who feels she must betray and even try to ruin the reputation of her so called friend to satisfy whatever is missing in her life.

As a mom, what do I do? I am teaching my child to be herself but to NOT be the doormat that I have been. She must stand up for herself and guard her heart from the hurts of people who simply don't care about anyone but themselves. I am very proud of T. She held her tongue, confronted the person, and did not degrade herself or the other girl at all. She stood up for herself and confronted the person head on. However, I know she is hurt. It is so hard to lose a friend over problems that just can not be resolved no matter how much you try. Some day she will hopefully look back and be grateful that she made a stand, walked away, and chose to pick friends that made healthy relationships/friendships for her. My prayer is that the one who has hurt my child will be found out soon and that she will learn that to have true friends, you must first be a true friend. It is a hard lesson to learn, but the sooner it is learned, the better.

As for me......I would never go back to high school......what a nightmare to live it again! Living it through my child is hard enough.