Speechless....

I really don't know how to write tonight. I often keep my spoken words to myself because I doubt my ability to make what I am thinking clear verbally, but even tonight my written words have a hard time coming. I am fighting with myself on how to once again face a disappointment and unthinkable situation.


I am reminded of a time in my young married life when we learned of a leader in our church who had fallen to the disgrace of infidelity. He had been one of the loudest and most staunch teachers against divorce and had every book, chapter and verse to back up his hell, fire and brimstone stance. Then it was his turn to fall. It was not pretty. Many many families and friends were hurt in the aftermath of the separation and divorce. I remember my parents talking very specifically to me about why the church reacted the way it did. It was a horribly stressful time and I remember many tears being shed. That family was split. They all disappeared from our church family and went separate ways. Both eventually remarried, but whether either of them attend any where or not even today is questionable. Others families were also effected by this sin. Friendships were forever lost and many memories became bitter sweet remembrances. I also remember looking back and thinking, "I should have picked up on the signs." There was always something that kept me from feeling totally comfortable with the father of the family even though he considered me like one of his own.


So, why do I go back to this memory? Because today I am reminded again how much one person's sin can radiate through a marriage, family and even a church. I watched many tears be shed tonight. So many hearts are broken and hurt. Many don't know where to turn or how to move forward. I, myself, had a hard time even trying to think what to say to others to comfort them. I'm not sure there is a way to face this kind of hurt and not be changed. On this night, I am speechless......