How did this happen?

Where did 40 come from? Seriously, how did I reach this point in my life? It just hit me the other day, and I have been 40 a few months now, that I am officially an adult! I know that sounds goofy, but you know during your 20's they just look at you as young and still "like a teenager." The 30's come along and you get some respect for living that long and hopefully figuring out what is important and what is not. But then, SMACK 40 hits you in the face and for some reason you are now an adult. Yikes....I have serious responsibilities now!

This is what I mean.....I don't have any excuses any more to just fumble through this life. I am actually now one of those people who someone might look to for advice! Or, I might have to make a decision on the direction things will go and that will affect a generation coming behind me. I am on COMMITTEES now. Yea, me....on committees. Committees at school, committees at church, no community committees yet, but you know there have been some possibilities. The other thing is, my children are almost grown, with the exception of the baby....who is almost 10. One is getting married and that means I will be a "mother-in-law!" The other is about to be a senior in high school with college applications and scholarships to work on. She will be moving out before I know it. Then the baby, well, she isn't really a baby anymore, will be old enough to be in an "intermediate" school, which is a nice way of saying "PRETEEN"! Other future options are becoming a "grandparent!" NO....what? Me???? I'm not old enough yet....RIGHT? Don't answer that!

I think I may be headed into a mid-life crisis....however I am hoping mid-life is about 50 instead of 40. EWWWW....I'm looking forward to 50! Ugh....that is scarey. No offense to those of you who are closer to that number than me, it is just I remember crying at 25 because all I had to look forward to as birthdays go was turning 30. Now, I'm 40 and all I have to look forward to is 50! HOW DID THIS HAPPEN???? I don't feel 40....mentally....maybe sometimes physically, but not in my heart. I think I am stuck somewhere around 32. That wasn't so bad.

Okay, so 40 hasn't been bad. It is just different. People look at you different if they know you are 40. They have an idea in their heads of how you should act. You can't act like a 30 something anymore. You have to be a bit more serious minded and you really should know what you plan to do with your life by this point. I really think I am stuck at 32.

I am not ready to be this responsible. However, I do look at the world differently now. I appreciate the days. The days go by too fast at times and wasted days seem like a lost treasure rather than just another day. I have many memories now. Memories of my children as they have grown up. Memories of people who made their mark on my heart and have since gone home to our Father. I also have found that I don't like wasting time on the things that don't really matter. You know, those things that in your 20's and 30's would make you have a bad day or would threaten to ruin a friendship or marriage just because you were angry. Well, at 40, they don't matter near as much as loving and enjoying life with your family and friends.

Okay, so those getting near 40, get ready. It just HITS you one day and you are expected to be an adult with serious responsiblities. For those of you already 40 and getting the hang of this better than me, HELP.....I think I may need it. I am fighting 40 as much as I can. For those of you who have moved on to the 50's, thank you for setting the example for me to follow and for the encouragement to embrace this stage in my life.

New names and new responsibilites in this middle ground...."mother-in-law, grandmother (not yet, but someday), board member, committee person...." How did this happen? 40