I really don't have a focus for writing today. I just have a lot bouncing around in my head. I'm home sick....probably strep...and the rest of the family is at church. That use to never happen, but now Mike gets everyone up and out the door for church. What a blessing! I watched Facing the Giants again this morning. I love that movie. I think it really does show what God can do in our every day lives. We need to view His hand moving in our lives and working out the miracles around us. They are there....everywhere! We just need to stop and look for them. I also think if we are focusing on our relationship with God then we are more likely to recognize the miracles that are happening around us.
For example....my brother was actually reaching out and NICE to us yesterday! I am still in shock. I don't know how or why, but it seems to be a positive step. I left Christmas with a feeling of distress again over my brothers. Jon had called Todd "his" brother, like I was not part of that part of the family. I have felt that for so long that it was like a knife stabbing my heart. I had to work through forgiveness and pain again to not let it ruin the rest of our Christmas. Then, Jon sent me a message telling me how much he enjoyed spending time with us and that he loved me. Jon is my baby brother and he and I usually have a good relationship, but it had been strained in the last few years due to OUR brother..Todd. It made me cry when I got his message and then I realized he had moved the girls and myself to his "top friends" on his page. That is a big step for him....and us.
But it was last night's email that made my heart skip. Tara was checking her "space" and had a message from her uncle Todd. Last time she had a message, she got to respond in her "prophet" gift mode and tell her uncle just what was on her mind. It lead to a lot of hurt, and maybe some healing. Anyhow, Todd had responded to a bulletin that Tara had posted and we were a bit afraid of what he might say this time. When we opened it, it was a message for Mike and I THANKING US for his Christmas gift and telling us how much he appreciated it. WOW! That was so unexpected. It was a bit of an olive branch I think, but we still have a long way to go. Todd didn't even come to Christmas with the family. It hurt Mom and Dad, but we went on with our celebrations anyhow. I have been harsh in how I have been thinking about Todd over the last several days and I am repenting of that. I need to love first, judge last and forgive all the time. It is not easy for me.
We meet with the wedding planner tomorrow! Ash and I are meeting with her and then going shopping for a little bit. (I am really sick of shopping!) But, I think I am going to try to look at stuff to make the bouquets for the bridesmaids. We will just have to see if my creative side can be revived. I made all the bouquets for my wedding....except mine. Then, on Tuesday Ash and I and all her bridesmaids....including Chelsea and Tara....are heading to Firewheel mall to the bridal shop. Wedding and bridesmaid dresses are on the agenda. This should make for an exciting adventure. Just me driving up there should be fun. I am going to have to raid the savings account before we go.
New Years is bringing a lot of activity for us already. Wedding plans hit high gear now that Christmas is over. Diets are back! Mike and I had done so well up until about Thanksgiving and now we have to get back to it. School starts back on the 2nd and I will be working hard for our TAKS season. I also played with figuring our income TAX today. We may or may not get a refund. It all depends on this crazy tax law stuff. We will either get about 2100 back or owe about 700. I am praying for the law to stay what it was so I don't owe!
On another note, I have come to see how truly blessed my life is. God has blessed my life with some great friends. Friends that have come in and out of my life to leave their footprints on my heart. My coffee group is an amazing part of my life. I truly see and feel God's presence when I am with these girls. God brought us together from different walks of life and different experiences, but bonded us together in ways that words can not explain. This year I have also reconnected with friends from my childhood. It is great to see God bring us back together to share our joys and sorrows and know that we can survive anything when we have God at our side. I also work with an amazing group of friends. For the most part, it is good, but as in any family, there are struggles and that is what I see us as.....family. Our small group and my summer Bible study group continue to encourage my walk of faith and keep me accountable as I work everything out. My children are also great friends to me. They make me laugh and smile when nothing else can. Watching them grow and being their friend through these travels of life makes it all the more rewarding. Then there is Mike... I can not imagine life without him and I know I am truly blessed to have a husband like him.
There are others that I have not even taken the time to mention here, but they are still very dear to my heart. I am truly blessed. I pray that I continue to count my blessings and dwell on such good things in my life.
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