Marriage 101

Lately I have become a little more than concerned about many of the marriages around me. I count up to 5 that I know of in the last year that have struggled with some sort of sin, from lying to each other to out right infidelity. I just don't understand it. What has happen to the sanctity of marriage?

Don't get me wrong, Mike and I have struggled in the past with some of the same issues. It was what I call the dark times of our life together. It was also a time where neither of us were seeking God or striving to live as He commands. Trust was lost and it took me a long time to regain some of that, but we did it. It was a dark season in our lives and our children most certainly suffered from it. But how do families/marriages get to the point of not loving each other enough to honor their marriage above all else? I know for us it came during a time where we did not put each other first nor consider the other in decisions. We both were working too much and busy with raising small children and trying to make ends meet. We went to bed too many times with hurt feelings and unresolved disagreements and let those things fester into real problems. We held on to too much and forgave too little. Those were truly dark days.

How do we justify lying? How do we justify cheating? When did it become socially okay to cheat? Better yet, when did our churches become so involved in the same issues as the world? I'm sure it has always been. I remember two different families when I was growing up that faced infidelity where one ended in divorce and the other continues to this day to try to stay together. I respect the ones who can forgive and move forward. I understand the ones who just can't. I fear I would be one of those. I don't see how I could forgive and move forward. It would be by God's grace and love that I would have to. It would also be for my children's sake if it came to that point. However, I have watched one family hold on and do nothing more than damage their children's ideas of marriage and the future marriages they would be in. The sins of the father are visited upon his children..... Somewhere that cycle has to be broken. A new pattern must be set in motion and men and women must honor the marriage vows they have taken above all else.

It just seems that so many marriages have been affected by such sin lately. Each week or month it seems that we hear of another family struggling. No, we may not know any details, but by the look in the hurt spouse's eyes, you can read the whole story. The cold or possibly mournful stature of the repenting spouse also tells whether the marriage may be saved. I know God can heal any hurt. He can also use those hurts to His glory. It just seems that we are not guarding ourselves from such attacks on our families. How has this happened?

I think the evil one has done a good job of attacking families. Worldly families have been falling apart for years, but now the attack on families within the church seems to be on the rise. Guarding my heart and my mind while also being aware of the struggles and needs that my spouse faces almost seems impossible in today's society. Babylon......Daniel's Babylon seems to truly be what we are living in. Keeping the integrity of our marriages and families in tact is a constant battle. If we loose this battle I fear the war will also be lost. We must put more emphasis on our marriages and families. Next to our relationship with our Father, our relationship with our spouse must be the most important.

As I see my daughter prepare to marry, I am reminded of the vows I took. Until death do us part.....honor one another....in better or worse.....sickness or health....These were not just words but a vow/promise before my God...the creator of all....that Mike would be my husband and I would honor him. I just don't understand how one can take those words so lightly and then throw them away for another......My heart is breaking for the the hurt I saw today in the eyes of those who have been hurt.

I thank God for allowing Mike and I to find healing from the hurts in our past that helped us put our marriage and relationship with God foremost. It was not an easy battle, but we made it. I never entertained the idea of cheating or leaving. The opportunities were present at times that I could have made different choices, but I learned to "flea" quickly from snares that may entrap, to not even entertain the thoughts of cheating or leaving. I understood marriage was for life and not to be taken lightly. I understood that at the age of 19 and I know it to be even more true today after 21 years of marriage. I know Mike has faced similar battles and we both have failed at times to make the right choices. I am just thankful that we held on to the promises we have made and kept fighting to get to where we are today. I pray we never go back to that place.