I wish I had a laptop computer. Right now I am sitting in my chair with this dumb keyboard on my knees typing. I want to lean back in my chair and I can't with the keyboard on the desk. I know this is crazy, but you know me. I want things the way I want them. That seems to be the fuel on the flame lately. I have been exploding randomly all over the place. I would like to say it is just pms and that probably is a lot of it, but I know it is not all. (argggggg I can't get comfortable typing) Anyway, I just feel stir crazy when I am at home and I don't have near enough energy to accomplish the work that needs to be done around here and no one else does either. I hate looking at a dirty house. It makes me crazy. I can walk in the house and my whole attitude changes. Now, in light of the current situation in the gulf area, I should shut up here and quit complaining. I look around and love the fact that I have a home. Even if it is small, it is my home and we are cool and dry and have clothes and food and you name it. So why am I a basket case over the mess????? It is just me. I want it clean and neat and nice, but I don't want to do it by myself and it be a mess again later. I don't want to yell and fuss and nag over the mess that will be made after I clean, so I just save myself the trouble of cleaning and fuss about the mess. Sounds crazy to me......

I went off today too because the girls were just not getting what I was THINKING! Yes, I said thinking. They couldn't read my mind, so what did I do.....explode! Great! Another moment of insanity. Though, they really were not doing what I wanted and they should have known what to do at that time, but I yelled before I thought of redirecting their behavior. I think with school in full force and all the little stressors going on, I am totally out of patience and common sense by the end of the day. It might get better by the end of OCTOBER!!!!!! I don't know that I can make it that long. Some of the craziness has settled down a bit, but not all of it. Teachers are starting to snap at each other a little more. Personalities are starting to wear on others. There is not a lot of mercy flowing towards each other. I guess everyone is feeling like I am. Hopefully, I am not being negative to others at school. I think I have been really good there, it is home where I loose it.

On a better note, I drove an Equinox (Chevy) today. It is a cute little suv. It is roomy too. Mike like it. Now, if I can get the financing and trade in taken care of, I can start paying less for gas. However, I hate doing financial stuff. I wish I had someone to do that for us and just give me an allowance for each week to buy groceries and gas. It would be nice. I am going to call the credit union in the a.m. and see what can be done. The one I drove was green. It was nice, but I wouldn't choose green. They have a program car with under 20, 000 miles for $16, 000 compared to the $22,000 sticker price of this one. That is with the employee discount. I would really like to see the preowned before we make a deal. I don't know that I can get what I still own on my suburban for it, so that might be the problem. I am praying about it, but I just don't know what to do. I have always said that I would keep my suburban for as long as it could be used to serve the Lord. I don't feel that I am using it for that as much now and would like to downsize if possible. Gas is killing me. It was $2.99 for reg in TErrell today. $3.09 for medium grade and $3.19 for supreme. I could not believe it and now the news is pushing for $4 a gallon soon. I may have to switch jobs and come back to Kemp to teach......NOT! I would more likely sell the house and move in with my parents or my grandmother.

Today is my grandmother's birthday. I am the worse granddaughter ever. I have not seen her in over a month and I failed to call her. I am going to try to call when the girls get home from church. Hopefully it will not be too late by then. I have to go see her tomorrow!

My brother, Todd, was brought up on charges for possession on Monday. These charges are from back in 2003 but they have finally seen the lab work and decided to prosecute him. That is just great! He is finally in a rehab that seems to be working and now they want to put him on trial for something that was over 2 years ago. We don't know what to expect. The rumor on the judge is that he is hard-nosed and wants everyone who does anything wrong to go to jail. I believe Todd needs to pay the price, but I also feel that he is in the place he needs to be to find Christ to find healing. Jail would be a giant step backward and that scares me for him and for my family.

My hands are hurting so I guess I will get off this thing. I am having severe pain in my right hand from time to time. My friend, Lisa, says it is "arthur" coming to visit. Some others think it may be carpal tunnel syndrome or something like that. All I know is that when it hurts, I can't use it. This is the second episode in a month for it to hurt. I don't know of injuring it in the last month, so it must be something weird going on. Tonight it is okay, but I don't want to push it, so I will go for now.....