Today was such an exciting day. Ashton and I picked up her bridal portraits that were taken last week. What beautiful pictures of my baby girl! As I looked at the portraits I was amazed to see such a stunning young woman staring back at me. Where was that little girl? What happened to that teenager? Where did my baby go? No, none of them were there. The person I saw smiling back at me through those portraits was a woman....a beautiful, confident, strong, independent young woman with her whole life ahead of her. To say I was a proud momma would be an understatement. My heart was full!
My daughter looked at the same beautiful pictures with such a different perspective. She picked out every little flaw. I believe she even saw some that just were not there! She didn't see what I saw. She saw her hair out of place. She spotted every imperfection she could imagine. Each pose had something that she didn't like about herself. Too short, too posed, not a real smile, eyes not right, shows too much of my curves....you name it, she saw it.
Now, before you think she is over critical of herself or has an issue with her self-esteem or self-image, let me assure you she was not totally disappointed. She found several pictures that she likes and a few she even loves. I don't believe she was more critical than any one of us would be in the same situation. I know I was the same way with my portraits from so many years ago, and if I tell the truth, I am the same way today when I see any picture of myself.
Why is it that we don't see ourselves as others see us? Why are we so hard on ourselves? Why could she not see the same beautiful, confident, independent, young woman that I saw? As I thought about how hard she was on herself I heard a lot of the same things that I would say about myself. Is it pride that makes us judge ourselves so harshly? I heard a wise woman say today that "our insecurities are just another form of pride." Ouch! I never thought of myself as prideful, nor would I consider my daughter prideful, but we both suffer from insecurities when it comes to our self images. I dare say almost every woman does.
What would it take to look at ourselves with the same eyes that our Father in heaven looks down on us with? The Bible tells us that God looks at a man's (or woman's) heart, not on their outward appearance. Why is it then that we focus so much on that outward self rather than the inward? I can not even begin to imagine how much money is spent each year on making women look like the image we think we should have. Diets, surgeries, artificial this and that, spray on tans or maybe the fake-bake ones, make-up, new hair cuts, the latest styles, and the right accessories all to make us fit the image of a beautiful woman. I'm guilty. Too guilty of many of these things.
When I think of the Proverbs 31 version of a woman, I don't see a description of an outwardly beautiful woman, but of a beauty that comes from deep within and pours out every part of the woman's character. When will we see ourselves like this woman? When will we let go of the image that the world says we are to portray and grasp the image of a woman of God whose beauty is greater than any riches?
My daughter is beautiful in my eyes....inside and out. Her beauty may not be that of the world's standard. She is not a size "barbie" but she is an amazing young woman. Her heart is so loving and kind and her integrity speaks of someone with a desire to be who God wants her to be. Kind, loving, considerate, gentle, tenderhearted, dependable, and simply amazing to me. If only we would listen to our Father when He tells us how beautiful we are to Him, even with our freckles, and gap teeth, thin hair and too big noses. Our hips that don't fit a size "Gidget" and our legs that may have a few dimples and veins. A pudge here or there and a scar or two do not make us any less beautiful or worthy. Whose eyes are we looking through....Our Father's eyes see so much more than the world's!
I can't wait until you all see my beautiful daughter!
My daughter looked at the same beautiful pictures with such a different perspective. She picked out every little flaw. I believe she even saw some that just were not there! She didn't see what I saw. She saw her hair out of place. She spotted every imperfection she could imagine. Each pose had something that she didn't like about herself. Too short, too posed, not a real smile, eyes not right, shows too much of my curves....you name it, she saw it.
Now, before you think she is over critical of herself or has an issue with her self-esteem or self-image, let me assure you she was not totally disappointed. She found several pictures that she likes and a few she even loves. I don't believe she was more critical than any one of us would be in the same situation. I know I was the same way with my portraits from so many years ago, and if I tell the truth, I am the same way today when I see any picture of myself.
Why is it that we don't see ourselves as others see us? Why are we so hard on ourselves? Why could she not see the same beautiful, confident, independent, young woman that I saw? As I thought about how hard she was on herself I heard a lot of the same things that I would say about myself. Is it pride that makes us judge ourselves so harshly? I heard a wise woman say today that "our insecurities are just another form of pride." Ouch! I never thought of myself as prideful, nor would I consider my daughter prideful, but we both suffer from insecurities when it comes to our self images. I dare say almost every woman does.
What would it take to look at ourselves with the same eyes that our Father in heaven looks down on us with? The Bible tells us that God looks at a man's (or woman's) heart, not on their outward appearance. Why is it then that we focus so much on that outward self rather than the inward? I can not even begin to imagine how much money is spent each year on making women look like the image we think we should have. Diets, surgeries, artificial this and that, spray on tans or maybe the fake-bake ones, make-up, new hair cuts, the latest styles, and the right accessories all to make us fit the image of a beautiful woman. I'm guilty. Too guilty of many of these things.
When I think of the Proverbs 31 version of a woman, I don't see a description of an outwardly beautiful woman, but of a beauty that comes from deep within and pours out every part of the woman's character. When will we see ourselves like this woman? When will we let go of the image that the world says we are to portray and grasp the image of a woman of God whose beauty is greater than any riches?
My daughter is beautiful in my eyes....inside and out. Her beauty may not be that of the world's standard. She is not a size "barbie" but she is an amazing young woman. Her heart is so loving and kind and her integrity speaks of someone with a desire to be who God wants her to be. Kind, loving, considerate, gentle, tenderhearted, dependable, and simply amazing to me. If only we would listen to our Father when He tells us how beautiful we are to Him, even with our freckles, and gap teeth, thin hair and too big noses. Our hips that don't fit a size "Gidget" and our legs that may have a few dimples and veins. A pudge here or there and a scar or two do not make us any less beautiful or worthy. Whose eyes are we looking through....Our Father's eyes see so much more than the world's!
I can't wait until you all see my beautiful daughter!
7 comments:
Baby Girl, I love you. This is a precious commentary of a mother's love of her children. You, too, are beautiful inside and shining outward to a world in search of beauty. Mom
Thank you Denise,
This was so lovingly and beautifully written and so true. I needed to hear this today. Your writing is beautiful just like you and I'm so thankful to have a kindred spirit with you.
love,
KErrie
Thank you Denise, I needed to hear this today. I have been struggling some with my own self-image. Sometimes it is difficult to adapt to new surroundings without losing who we are. I needed the reminder that God knows who we are and that is what really matters.
I love your writing and your sincere heart. I am truly blessed to have you as a part of my life.
love you, Connie
I agree - it is interesting how different our perspective is when viewing ourselves. The pride thing - wow, I hadn't thought about it like that but I can't say I disagree. The main thing is that God tells us to love one another as we love ourselves, and if we can't see anything but flaws when looking at ourselves, how can we look past them, honestly, when looking at others? I struggle with this daily, probably every minute of each day. How wonderful it would be to see ourselves as our loved ones see us, as you see your daughter, as our spouse sees us, as Our Father sees us. I think most of us have to work on this aspect. I mean, if we down ourselves then aren't we telling God that what he made and sees as beautiful really isn't and that He is wrong??? Sorry to rant here, Girlfriend, but you always start my brain working!!
Love you!
D
I sat today with a group of ladies from every walk of life and our discussion quickly turned to the latest crazes in beauty. One girl had just had her tummy tucked and a little lipo as well as her ladies "perked" up. Another had just come from having her underarms waxed. I listened as one talked of her daughter-in-law and a friend, both who are about 15 years younger than me, who have had botox already. ALREADY! to prevent FUTURE wrinkles! I admit I talked about the laser hair removal I would love to have and maybe a little wrinkle reduction. Everything from lapban surgery to pedicures were discussed. None of us were happy with how we look or what we see in ourselves. I will add that every lady at this table will tell you they love God and are women of faith, yet each one of us feels that we are not beautiful in our own eyes, much less God's. Our culture has really told us what beauty is and we have bought in to it. Sometimes it is so hard to believe we can be beautiful and not be "perfect". I am struggling every day to believe truth over propaganda. The pride thing really has hit me and I agree with Dawn when she said "then aren't we telling God that what he made and sees as beautiful really isn't and that HE is wrong!" Another OUCH! Who are we to tell God that His creation is not beautiful or needs to be "perked" up.
Love you girls!df
Thank you for sharing your blog with me. I love reading your heartstrings and enjoy the notes others post as well. I hope to begin writing again soon. Love you, p
It took me a few days to get here, but I'm glad I showed up today. I was just fussing over some hairs that I had to tweeze again...and thinking about all of those flaws. Love you sweetie, and I love that beautiful daughter of yours too.
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